Menu 14: Ratatouille (Mixed Vegetables and Penne)

AKA Garbage Pasta

Vegetarian. Textured. Loamy. Popularized in the American consciousness by the 2007 Disney/Pixar movie of the same name, Ratatouille or more properly ratatouille niçoise is a stewed vegetable entrée consisting of eggplant, zucchini, and bell peppers sautéed with onions and garlic in a tomato sauce. Of all the MRE entrees, it is perhaps the least understood, oft rejected (prematurely, I would argue) because it is the “V” word.  Vegetarian.

Ratatouille (Mixed Vegetables and Penne) - Eat

The olio has a rich, varied texture.  At 180 calories, it’s a hearty stew that is also good for you.  The robustness of the sauce, loaminess of the eggplant, and zestiness of the basil, bay leaf, and thyme give the dish a rare and distinctive savor. If that image doesn’t make your pulse quicken, the ratatouille’s 1120mg of sodium (47% of daily intake) surely will.

The unexpected presence of slow-carb penne may throw off the discerning ratatouille diners, but the scotta noodles do help round out the dish and make it a complete entrée.

Crackers - Don't Eat

Seemingly inspired by matzah bread, the crackers have the crunch and togetherness of a stale saltine, minus the essential salt. (After the Ratatouille, any more would be a health hazard). Its desiccation presents both an imperative for water and offers neutral stage on which both the Ratatouille and peanut butter could execute beautiful performances.  L’chaim!

Peanut Butter - Eat if hungry

Lightly salty and overly sweet, the peanut butter has a surfeit of fats that crowd out the tongue and obscure any flavor of peanuts. Trying to be all things to all people, the peanut butter lacks the piquant qualities that would otherwise make it delightful on the cracker.  Instead, it is the confectionary version of ketchup, suffocating out flavor. At 250 calories, it is simply not worth it.

Strawberry Dairy Shake Powder - Eat if hungry

A delicate and authentic strawberry taste that is less Nesquik and more melted Neapolitan ice cream. It leaves a harsh droughty feel on the back of the throat, likely a result of the refined sugar or perhaps added calcium and vitamin D.  It pulls off the difficult feat of tasting authentically dairy, not an easy accomplishment.  Don’t drink your calories.

Raisins - Never Eat

These aren’t the Sun Maid raisins from your childhood.  Oh, no.  For one, these bad boys never stick together. Each is highly lubricated in glycerol and captex oil.  While the grease may ease the raisins’ passage down your gullet, it dampens the authenticity of the grape, giving it a preservative-like taste that varies piece by piece.  Mysteriously too, the skin on the raisins is quite loose as if each raisin lost a lot of weight while waiting in the packaging.

Marble Pound Cake - Something Special

The undisputed king of desserts.  It has the light airiness of angel food cake and a crisp crust that must come from baking in individual tins.  The pound cake is only lightly sweet and would be a good compliment to black coffee.  As a stand-along dessert, the sophisticated host would serve it with whipped buttercream or (for the adventurous) cardamom frosting.  The included peanut butter is also passable.

Though apparently swirled with vanilla and chocolate batters, I could not detect any differences in flavor across swirl distributions.  This may be purely cosmetic.

Ratatouille

Taste - ***

Rarity - *

Presentation - ****
Bonus Items - ***